I APPRECIATE the concern, friends, but if I want to spend the afterlife burning in the flames of eternal damnation, it’s my business and nobody else’s. Apparently this puts me at odds with parliament, however, which last week took it upon itself to pass a proposal to set up a new watchdog to discourage anti-Islamic behaviour. If established, its members will have no power to arrest anyone but, if they don’t like the way you dress or socialise, can give you a darn good telling off!

Well, I’ll be damned…if we need saving from anyone, it’s from extremists whose idea of women’s rights is allowing them to drive while wearing veils and banning them from travelling abroad without the consent of their husbands or ‘guardians’. Not out of disrespect, of course, but for their own good. Such a watchdog would undoubtedly try to influence the way people live their lives but can only meet with limited success. It may succeed in controlling the way people behave in public but will undoubtedly increasing the religious hypocrisy already prevalent all over Bahrain. You could physically drag people all the way to the mosque but you can’t control their minds, at least not in the short term. Women may dress more conservatively, but only to avoid being harassed by old men with long beards. And those in designer abayas would probably still go out of their way to show you what they’re wearing underneath. You may be able to segregate males and females in a few public places, but where there’s a will, there’s always a way.

I’ll tell you something though… my fellow columnists and I love making fun of the many idiotic notions coming out of parliament, but there is very little chance they will actually become reality. Most of the proposals passed by parliament are just that: proposals. They are not official pieces of legislation unless passed by both the Council of Representatives and the Shura Council. Very few laws have actually been passed in this way because of constant bickering and time-wasting by our honourable parliamentarians (may their beards grow ever longer, if not their attention spans). Although passed by the elected MPs, the Cabinet is not obligated to accept the Islamic watchdog suggestion and frankly I can’t see them doing so.

Incidentally, the watchdog idea is by the same MP who suggested chopping people’s hands off for stealing. Can you imagine if this was actually implemented? You’d have to install handicapped facilities at virtually every company boardroom in the country! If these will be the types populating heaven, I’ll take hell any day…the crowd will probably be much better.

tariqk1976@hotmail.com 

tkhonji@yahoo.com

(for large attatchments)