Do you ever get the impression that some women try a little too hard, with their make-up so thick you could carve your initials on it? It's as if they won't be seen in public without looking like ghosts, clowns or Jennifer Lopez clones, all three of which are the stuff of nightmares. Now before you start organizing that lynch mob, let me make it clear that I'm not talking about all women who use cosmetics, only those who look like they've wandered off the set of Night of the Living Dead.

According to Beauty world Middle East, the region's largest cosmetics industry expo, the annual expenditure on beauty products in the GCC is over $1.7 billion! This in a region with a population of around 33 million, only a fraction of which is actually the target market for such products. This means that those who do buy them, use a hell of a lot!

To put things in perspective, the latest figures state that the entire Middle Eastern banking sector spends just over $1bn on information technology, and this includes the Levant. Holy Make-up Remover! About 70 per cent more is spent on beauty products, mainly by women presumably, and most of them are still ugly! And the Michael Jackson complex seems to have reached epidemic proportions, with dark women trying to look fair in a society which considers light skin to be more attractive (or at least that's what the ladies think...). Still, this doesn't explain the light-skinned ones who pile on the cream until they become so pale they seem to fade into another dimension. And then you get women of European extraction trying to look darker... (*Sigh...*)

I can't believe I'm actually writing this, but girl, you've got to use the right foundation! It's obvious when a woman is trying to change her skin tone... just look at the noticeably different color of her hands. And if you must overdo it, at least don't forget to blend the foundation onto your neck as well because nobody likes a talking mime. And too much eye shadow makes your eyes look deep set and creepy, which is fine if you want to be the Bride of Frankenstein. A make-up artist friend of mine says that sophisticated women wear make-up only where it's needed so that you hardly realize it's even there.

She adds that veiled women especially, with most of their features hidden, tend to overemphasize the eyes to compensate. It's as if their feminine instincts are locked in constant struggle against their cultural conditioning.
I think it's a misconception that men like women who are done up all the time. We don't really care if you're wearing blusher or whatever but if you've made your face up to look like a panda's, we notice! Most guys I know prefer girls who wear a minimal amount of make-up, or even sometimes none at all (gasp!). At least then what you see is what you've got.

Maybe I'm being a little too harsh. I shouldn't make fun because all they're trying to do is look nice and what's so wrong with that? At least they get an 'A' for effort. And besides, I hear the zombie look is in this season. OK, now stop.

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"And today I am wearing 06 beige rosé with blue eye shadow and....."