Since it looks like we're stuck with him for a little longer, let's look at the bright side of George W Bush. He may not be a great president, but he certainly makes for entertaining television. The Bush Administration is a Godsend for late night TV hosts like Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, not to mention news anchors and cartoonists. How often does someone with absolutely no public speaking ability get elected to the most powerful office in the world? And how often does that person also resemble a chimpanzee?

We have George W to thank for some of the most memorable quotes in US presidential history (compiled from The Ultimate Bushisms ):

•  “The war on terror involves Saddam Hussain because of the nature of Saddam Hussain, the history of Saddam Hussain and his willingness to terrorise himself.”

•  On Russian President Vladamir Putin: “I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy… I was able to get a sense of his soul.”

•  At a dedication of his portrait: “I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging.”

•  On Pakistan's General Musharraf: “General… I can't name the general.”

•  “What I'm suggesting to you is, if you can't name the foreign minister of Mexico, therefore, you know, you're not capable of what you do. But the truth of the matter is you are, whether you can or not.”

•  “Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes.”

•  “For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.”

•  “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.”

•  “I'm the master of low expectations.”

•  “I've coined new words, like misunderstanding and Hispanically.”

•  “Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one.”

•  “Tony Blair? We both use Colgate toothpaste.”

Classic stuff. Not exactly up there with Lincoln's Gettysburg Address but comparable perhaps to Nixon's “I am not a crook!” and Clinton's “I've never had sexual relations with that woman, Ms Lewinsky!”

Then, of course, there was that little pretzel incident, which almost did poor Georgie in. I swear, this guy's funnier than the Paramount Comedy Channel!

His administration has its moments too, except perhaps for Donald Rumsfeld, who's just scary. Wouldn't you miss those Dick Cheney jokes about his heart problems, gay daughter and frequent flights of terror to his hidden bunker at the slightest sign of trouble? And did you catch Condoleezza Rice's hairdo when she testified before the commission investigating the administration's response to the September 11 attacks? How many cans of hairspray do you use to get your curls that stiff, girlfriend? Maybe the sista was taking a little pre-emptive action to keep her hair in place in case she sweated bullets (from the hot TV lights, of course, not anything else…).

Four more years of priceless entertainment with Dubya and friends! It's almost worth another war…

tariqk1976@hotmail.com 

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